Tuesday, December 3, 2013

One woman show

Growing up in my household, we were prepared to feed a party of 50 at any sunday night dinner, leftovers were packaged and sent to neighbors and friends, and of course there were still remnants left for lunch the next day (and the next day, and the next day). In our family, food is love, and we are a household of lovers. From before I was old enough to peek over the counters, I was sitting in the kitchen watching feasts being prepare, helping to stuff red peppers that stood in lines filling the whole countertop or stir a mixing bowl that would turn into 3 apple cakes.  I can almost still feel the moments where I was taught how to cook by instinct.

Unfortunately for me, these instincts include understanding how to cook for a table of 25.  This has posed problematic for my adult self.  I can't cook for one.  Since I've moved out of my family home into a space of my own, my attempts at learning the skill of cooking for myself has been more difficult than I could have imagined.   Its now been over a year and a half, and my instincts are still off, shopping for groceries is an exercise in restraint and uncertainty. I am buying more than I can cook, cooking more than I can eat, and stocking my freezer like the apocalypse is imminent. But what is a girl to do? My fears have even caused me to sustain for 2 weeks on a dinner of vegetable broth with wilted Kale, healthy and easy portion out and store.  But one cannot live on Kale alone.  So, I've started to do some reading, and internet searching to educate myself on portion appropriate cooking.  (Which is what I've decided to call it in lieu of "cooking for one" which always has seems to have this hidden sad connotation.)  I'm hopeful that I can get my change my instincts, however, let me know if you're free on Sunday, I'll probably have enough food to share.